risk what you value

I love to take huge risk. I like the thrill of trying something new and different. I like the idea of having a great story to tell when it all said and done. I like having people who want to hear about my latest and greatest scheme. I like being challenged to think and push the limits of who I thought I was. Knowing all of this about myself I usually pick pretty reasonable risk, sometimes I am a little more adventurous than other people would be, but still reasonable. I love traveling alone and getting to see what I want to see. I throughly enjoy taking on a new challenge on a regular bases. I value having these challenges in my life.
In relationships I like to risk really getting to know the person. My dearest friends know that at the end of the day we can tell each other anything and that we are a little richer for knowing more about the human experience. I am usually pretty good about remembering that everyone has their own back story and that story is true to them. I love to hear what people think and why they think what they think. Sometimes it really blows my mind that someone I thought I knew really well seems like a complete stranger when they are telling me what they are really thinking. I like the feeling of getting to be privy to those thoughts and having my perspective changed a little bit. I like that I am simply challenged by another persons thoughts.

Yea Churchill!

"Out of intense complexities intense simplicities emerge." Winston Churchill
Sometimes when I am feeling unraveled I try to remember that when life seems too complex those feeling will pass and I will be back to feeling like everything has fallen into place. I remember the feeling of being overwhelmed by working on a piece of art work or working on writing and realizing that I will come to that place where everything breaks free and comes together. So when I am extremely angry at the person who will not give me resolve and seems unscathed by their interactions with me and I am undone by feeling like I communicated so clearly what I wanted from another and they still want a different response, I remember that relationships are a lot like art work and writing. When they seem overwhelming and out of control you have to step back and re-evaluate them. Examining what is making everything seem so complex can help you to remember that you are full of self-efficacy and that you do have the skills to get through these complex emotions and navigate your life.

violated

What do you do when do when you feel someone emotionally violated you? We all feel it from time to time, we all make other people feel this way and yet there seem to be few people that you can work this emotion out with. Few people really want to work past the anger and the upset that comes with feeling violated and yet it can be one of the key steps to moving on from the incident. A good friend will work through this feeling with you until you both feel comfortable and safe in the relationship again. Other people will leave you fending for yourself, you will find the people around that help you pick up the pieces and start to feel whole again. Yet sometime you are still left wondering how someone who said they were trust worthy and caring could leave you feeling devastated by them.
I am a firm believer in expressing when you feel this or any type of emotion that can be worked through. I know that sometimes I will be rejected and sometimes I will have to wait for the person to come around and be ready to work with me to heal the relationship. But other times I wonder if it is worth waiting for, what if the person is a repeat offender. And what if the person appears to be a repeat offender not only with you but with other people as well. As you sit there and feel like you were just another sucker in their messed up life, how do you look past the pattern that you added to and start to look into your own healing. Sometimes it seems impossible and like the only thing to do is sever all ties. This is probably better for all of the aforementioned people that will help pick you up and put you back together and yet it is so tough to let go of the relationship without closer. I think you have to start to figure out how to create closer by yourself and frequently let that person go, if they were really interested they would join the group of people who would like to help you heal. This doesn't mean that you will not forgive them at some point but until you have healed you cannot afford to think about them contributing to your life. And frequently can not let them in even for a mundane conversation until you are whole again.